Goat Yoga - by Kelly Newman**

Though Kelly has left us, she's not forgotten...  Here's her blog on her (almost) experience with Goat Yoga.

Chronic low back pain is a huge problem in the United States, and despite our best efforts, we haven’t really found an effective treatment for it… until now.  Allow me to introduce the latest health and wellness technique: GOAT YOGA.  It is yoga… with goats.   

Why do so many people have chronic low back pain? It’s obvious.  It’s because they aren’t doing enough goat yoga.  “Can’t I do regular yoga?” you ask.  NO. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.  It’s not rocket science, people!  It’s clear that the health benefits are from the pitter patter of tiny goat hooves on your aching back. Trust me, if you don’t have a furry grass-muncher sniffing your ear while you down dog, you’re not doing it right. 

The theory is...

the goats have the perfect body weight to fur ratio to stimulate your muscles…and stuff.  And also relax them if that’s your problem.  While it’s true that nobody has checked out these claims “scientifically”, I can tell you that I am 100% certain that goat yoga will cure you.  If it doesn’t, you probably aren’t committed enough to goat yoga.  

To get the maximum healing properties out of goat yoga, you should go at least four times per week for the rest of your life.  Goats from the farms of Wisconsin are best, but any regular old goat will do in a pinch.  Just don’t expect as good of results.  Make sure the goats are in a healing mood.  If the goats aren’t in a healing mood, you need to come back later when they’re ready to radiate positivity.  

Make sure your instructor is GOAT YOGA certified.  If they are not, you will get nothing out of the class and probably feel worse for a long time, possibly forever.  Make sure you ask to see their Goat Yoga certificate for the 18 courses they had to take to become a Goat Yoga instructor.  If they try to tell you that they don’t need the certification to release a goat into a field while you’re doing yoga, they are SERIOUSLY MISLED and you need to get away before all of your discs slip.   

By the way, I am a certified Goat Yoga instructor and would love to take your money I MEAN CURE YOUR BACK.  Sign up now!

PS: Goat Yoga actually does not make any of these claims and I made this whole thing up.  Goat Yoga is probably really fun and silly!! Try goat yoga if you want, or don’t.

**It came to my attention today that I prematurely called her 'Dr. Kelly Newman'.  My apologies for this error.  I do know that Kelly has completed all of the didactic and clinical work for graduation, as well as passed her boards and secured her first job as a physical therapist with a clinic that will not disappoint her.  We're super proud of her ability to critically think, and not be seduced by things like certifications and 8-step training programs.  So, Kelly, we're really proud (even though you're not a doctor just yet) of what you're going to contribute to our profession.  Please continue to have fun, love what you do, and DTS. Love, Sarah and Sandy